This is going to be a quite different, emotional and possibly not very positive post, but I feel like it’s something I want to talk about. So this is your chance to back out! Heh. Also, you might be a little surprised that you’re not seeing a #NewBloggers 101 post on a Friday, but I’ve decided there needs to be a little change every now and then. Don’t worry, #NewBloggers will return next week!
Anyway, more about what we’ve got here today… Book blogging is mostly a positive activity, one we enjoy a lot, even if we have to really work for it. But don’t we have our book blogger fears? I wonder if yours are the same as mine? That’s why I’m sharing mine, and if you want to, you can share yours in the comments. They say, it’s better after you talk about it. Right? And we’re all in the same boat.
The Fear Of Losing The Love
This is obviously not going to be the same for everyone, because we’re at different spots as bloggers in each of our journeys. Some of you might be beginner bloggers, so you don’t actually ‘quite have’ The Love yet, but you might be gaining it. Some of you are long time bloggers who had The Love, maybe lost it, and then got it back again. I am neither of those – I am in the middle. But that means I’ve already had some love. And I’m afraid to lose it. But what the hell am I even talking about, huh?
Well, basically… You all know that I have a few communities that I built, and while they may be settling down a little, we still know that we all like each other immensely, and those communities are definitely built on positive emotions. In the end, I really, TRULY love hanging out with you. I love cross posting, guest posting, chatting on Twitter. I love it so much when some of you say “this is one of my favorite bloggers” or “I read every post of yours”. I save those screenshots of when you say that – for a sad day (no kidding, I’ve got a folder for that.)
So what I’m afraid is… That you will stop liking me. That my posts will become boring and won’t attract attention (actually, it’s slowly happening because the #NewBloggers is ending and now it will all be slightly different). I imagine scenarios where some of my favorite people won’t feel compelled to read every post of mine. And it’s not in the numbers! It’s about specific people that I know and don’t forget to tag when I’m catching up or doing Follow Fridays or something. It’s inevitable to lose SOME love, but… I feel afraid to lose your friendship. Because it truly means a lot in my life.
The Fear of Running Out of Ideas
I’m sure you can relate. A lot of you have probably had this fear already! And I know you can always post reviews when you’re out of ideas, but that brings me to the above point – you know that not a lot of readers love reading review posts only. And we’re back to losing the love 😀
The Fear of Running Out of Energy to Blog
…Energy or time. We all know blogging is basically an unpaid job, and although it pays in emotion and books, you’re still never sure if you’ll have the energy and time for it in the long run. What if I start posting once a week and you all forget about me..? What if I don’t have time to blog hop (already happening) and reply comments (already happening!!!) What if you all think that’s cause I don’t love you???
The Fear of Losing my Hosting or the Blog Blinking Out
That’s something I never stop struggling with, especially since it’s recently happened to a close friend of mine, Jackie @ Death by Tsundoku. And it really doesn’t matter which platform, hosting service or setup you’re using – it can happen to everyone. Even free WordPress gets disabled for the stupidest reasons sometimes (I know a blogger who lost her WP blog “because she was posting links to Goodreads and Amazon, and a free blog is not supposed to be commercial”. Which is kind of killing the whole point of book blogging…?) Anyway, not to scare you, but it can happen, and I often worry about it. Do you?
The Fear of Being Hated, Judged or Blocked
I know some bloggers do get harrassed quite a lot. Thankfully, despite being someone who mingles quite a lot, I haven’t had such awful treatment as some people I know – I’ve been lucky. But I have had a few odd run-ins. Someone misreading my words and calling me out for feeling bad about the whole international bloggers thing cause I don’t know what real problems are (without giving away too much cause I don’t want to say who it was). At least they didn’t tag me to shame me, but it’s someone you all talk to and appreciate. Someone who’s never replied my comments or tweets (even before the misreading bit), and I just don’t get how other people think that person is so nice. They’ve never been nice or friendly to me. And I keep wondering, is there a reason I’m labelled as such in their eyes..? What did I do? Or is because of something I AM?
Another time was when I was blocked on Twitter. I still don’t get why. It didn’t follow any encounter, it seems – those who know me should be able to say I’m the last person to start a fight. (Apart from the whole Internationals business and my open letter to NetGalley! But I think we were all angry at NetGalley then, weren’t we? And it’s not like it wasn’t justified. Also, it was public.) So I’ve been torn between “it was probably a misclick” and “they absolutely hate me for some reason I can’t figure out” for over a half a year. Ugh. The nastiest feeling! (Follow up: I asked them why. They said I was rude and insulting commenting on their blog. I am even more baffled. Doesn’t sound like me..? I apologized anyway. The oddest thing ever. Maybe I sleepwalked onto a keyboard or something…)
Has anything like that ever happened to you?
Fear of Misspeaking
Now, as someone who lives in a post-Soviet, historically all white (and not even English speaking) country, I encounter this problem all the time. The #diversity movement, which I love and am on the side of, can be, however, quite tough to manouver. Especially from where I was born and raised. And even more especially so, because if people see you’re white, they immediately assume you’re the same as American white, regardless of your origins and culture and the fact that actually you’re a different kind of minority too. For example, where I live, we just.. historically don’t have black people. Or Latino people. Like, at all. Different part of the world! They never came here. So it’s very hard to talk about stuff you’ve never seen or encountered. I’m always afraid I will blunder! And blunder is not taken lightly online these days – no matter what your situation. No matter that you’ve grown up in a poorer country than a lot of those minorities in America – everything is thought of only through the prism of the ‘American white’. So a lot of the time I worry about what I should say or shouldn’t say. When at the end of the day, I’m a person who just wants everyone to be equal, loved and understood.
I think all of us feel the fear of not being accepted, not being understood. Which is why I’m glad I know I’ve got most of you as friends, some of you – as close friends, even. That some of you will always personally message me and tell me not to be stupid, or that things are okay. And that even if my blog dies (god forbid..) I still am 99% sure you won’t just forget me in a blink, I’ll be able to reach you on social media and maybe start things up again, if I wanted to. Please tell me that’s really the way it is? Because you should know I’ll be there for you!
Have you ever felt these? Or do you have any of your own? Share with me!
I’m Evelina and I try to blog about books that matter, with a bit of fun there too! Disability and equality will be topics you see a lot, but there’s also a lot of scifi, fantasy and… GIFs. I’m also the proud founder of #ARCsAnonymous.
I have the fear of misspeaking of losing energy and the love. Because I’m always busy although I’ve tried to be active and find a community I never really fit in, my job has long days and I might be offline for a few days. So I guess I already have that fear but I’m used to that as I can be a shy person. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry, problems can be solved and sometimes fears can help you to avoid situations or they can just lie to you when everything is fine. 🙂
I’m also always busy 🙂 but I still feel like you’d have a place in our community, even if you drop off the face of the internet for days and days. A really great way of feeling involved is Instagram stories, have you tried that? They’re not demanding at all, people will just post whatever, so you don’t have to stress out over having to arrange pretty photos or anything. And people reply your stories, and you can reply people’s stories.. It’s such a great way to keep in touch, I’ve really been enjoying this lately 🙂
Thanks. I have an instagram but having twitter and facebook already seems like a lot. I don’t really have a clue about it and am sometimes too shy or too awkward to put things online. I know a lot of people use it though so maybe it’s something for me to consider updating 🙂
Yeah, I agree! Same here. Well, you can just sort of browse and read other people’s content, until maybe one day you’ll feel like posting something yourself 🙂
Such a powerful post!! Don’t worry we won’t forget you <3 You've helped us all so much 🙂 I think you hit the nail on the head with the fears you've discussed. It's so relevant and so true. I'm afraid of not having content, being burnt out, saying the wrong thing, etc. Don't worry though! You're doing such an amazing job <3
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it 🙂 it was truly spoken from the heart for me. Those posts always hit a spot in people’s hearts somehow 🙂
And thank you… Really means a lot 🙂 in fact, I am so glad I have these comments of yours and “an excuse” to visit you 😀 been thinking about your blog and that I haven’t visited for a while! So now I’ll be making my way to your posts 😀
Lovely post Evelina! 🙂 There are so many fears that I have as a blogger. But my biggest ones are losing the love and misspeaking. I love talking to all of my blogging friends and when they go away, I feel like I did something wrong. Now, I know that’s not it. As so many of us have busy lives outside of blogging, but the thought of losing that friendship is saddening. And you perfectly covered misspeaking!
Thank you, Jenn 🙂 yes, the support of this community is really super important. That’s why I have secured messenger contacts of the people I talk to the most, so I never lose contact. That way I also feel like they are almost near 🙂
And I’m glad you could relate to my post! Yeah, those are pretty much my biggest ones as well 🙂 and the hosting thing, of course 😀
Well, I for one love your blog, Evelina. I’ve learnt a great deal from reading your posts. Keep up the excellent work!
Paula, thank you so much! 🙂
Hey I have all of these fears too! (except the hosting thing because that has never crossed my mind before uh-oh). I tweeted a bit about this topic this morning as well. Just know my door is always metaphorically open for us to talk and you’ll always have love from me
It seems a lot of us can relate to these 🙂 and I am SO sorry to have TAUGHT you the hosting fears 😀 whoops… But oh well, now you can at least look into making backups!
And aww, thank you 🙂 yes, you actually happen to be one of the… like three bloggers I write to on pretty much a daily basis 😀 I love nerding out about books and blogging with you. Thank you so much for being a great friend 🙂
Lovely and so heart-touching post evelina ❤️ You know that I can’t forget you right? I might be busy these days but trust me your’s and Marie’s blog (from Drizzle and hurricanes) are always in my mind and even if I miss on a few posts of you both, I try to open both blogs later on and read what I missed Yes, you two are like.. amazing people I found in this community and I am glad I did. **pardon me if there are spelling mistakes. I am typing on my phone and typing really fast because it is… Read more »
Aww thank you! Yes, I know that it would be hard for you to forget me 😀 but it’s really nice to hear, so thank you so much for saying it 🙂 <3 Oh, I know! I don't visit Marie's blog often enough for sure - plus she's such a nice person too. I should drop by today since I'm doing a little blog hop 🙂 Don't worry about the spelling 😀 I am just happy about the awesome long comment! I wouldn't forget you either though 🙂 although I don't visit enough (I know I don't ;_;) but I… Read more »
Yes, the blog is fine now. I have finally moved to a new hosting. Yes, it cost me some money, but the investment was worth it. Now I really feel the change. I can work faster without any issues 🙂 Monetizing is a thing I am looking forward too. I have the Amazon one, but you know how much income they made. Nill for me at the moment. Apparently, no one clicks those links. So I am thinking of other mediums. I got paid opportunities earlier but I rejected them earlier. Now I am going to consider them and will… Read more »
I’m glad the blog’s better 🙂 yeah, apparently nobody does click the links! That’s so cool you’ve had paid opportunities. I’ve never been approached with anything like that. Only like a scam I think 😀 Was it local?
I’ll always be about not matter what girl! 🙂 I think I have some fears like not having enough time to blog hop, as I’m pretty bad at that. I’m getting a bit better though. And also not having the energy to write. But I actually have a fear that I’m going to burnout at some point and need to take a long break cause I’m notorious for taking things to the extreme. When I set my mind to something I’ll do it, and also because I have so many ideas and posts to write I can feel overwhelmed at… Read more »
Thanks Clo 🙂 you’re one of my amazing inner circles buddies and I really enjoy talking with you 🙂 although I’m so horrible at answering those post ideas messages xD
I think we all get burned out from time to time. It’s kind of the thing book bloggers do, it seems xD we bring ourselves to the edge 😀 we live dangerously :DDDDD
And I agree, I also have that whole ‘overwhelmed’ thing a lot.
But awww, thank you 🙂 <3
Wow, this is such an emotional post and I am really feeling for you right now. I know I’ve only recently found your blog, but I love visiting here because you write fun and thought provoking posts. I follow by email so I’d still know when to turn out, even if your posts became less frequent. I totally get what you’re saying about the misspeaking too. As a British woman who reads history, I know my country has screwed up or over pretty much every other country in the last 1000 years. And the current Brexit idiocy is bringing out… Read more »
Thanks 🙂 I’m glad it resonated. And thank you for reading my blog and subbing through email as well, not many people sub by email, actually 🙂
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think Britain has screwed my country over, yet at least 😀 but Brexit is definitely not something I’m happy about, having a boyfriend who’s from Britain. So it will definitely not make our life easier -.-
Great post and I agree with so much that you say! Always feel like you are walking a tightrope and I never thought it would be like this when I started! It was only meant to be for fun but sometimes that element of it is taken away!
Agreed! There is a fine balance. But most of the times, it’s still fun 🙂 the book blogger community is one of the friendliest communities out there, I think. So at least we’ve got that about us 🙂
Great post, Evelina! I think my “fear” is the fact that I AM America. It seems that almost everyone has a terrible perspective of Americans, and assume that all Americans have the same mentality instead of actually getting to know someone before spewing accusations at them. It makes me feel like I can’t say ANYTHING for fear of being taken wrong (because it WILL happen.) This is a reason why I don’t share much about my personal life because I don’t want others to take something I love and tear it to shreds. For me, everything you mentioned here is… Read more »
Thank you, Sheila 🙂 BTW – I totally miss hanging out with you, you’ve been busy, haven’t you? So have I! But I really want to catch up with you 🙂 I think you shouldn’t worry about the American thing – we do realize it’s a huge country and every person is different 🙂 at least those of us it’s worth associating with 😀 But I think it’s not just you who can’t say something without it being taken wrong. It’s all of us xD it’s a general thing about the internet, I think. Our generation is all about taking… Read more »
aww damn… sorry you feel this way
fear of misspeaking is real… not only on blogs/ online but even face to face. essentially people will hear most things through their own filter and I don’t think we can do much about that
i find online harassment quite despicable. like would they say that to your face? doubt it….
your blog is awesome, i love it and you seem like a really cool, and kind person.
Thanks, Norrie. Oh yeah, misspeaking face to face is definitely a thing too! Especially because I’m quite awkward at times 😀 yeah, you’re right – people will always hear through their filter, and nobody can prevent that. Communication can be complicated!
Thank you 🙂 that’s really good to hear that. And I’m glad you enjoy my blog too 🙂
So first thanks for sharing your fears with us! Fear of losing the blog. It used to panic me in the beginning. I still fear it but I’m trying to think that if it happens I’ll build it anew. Fear of losing the love. Well I used to have it. A lot. But since two weeks I’ve been so exhausted that I took some distance from social media etc and the fear has losened. I just want to enjoy blogging and I won’t probably never have thousands of followers (I am not on WP.com) but if I love what i’m… Read more »
Thanks for reading 🙂 I also try to think that even if I lose the blog, I could build again, and I’d still have my social media and friends! Yes, the follower count remains something I fret about xD but then again, it is worth it to just blog. People are cool here in our community. I do fear the bashing though! I am so thin skinned comparatively – I can burst into tears if I get a mean email from a client. I’m kind of really sensitive and it sucks! So I envy you xD I’m glad you’ve come… Read more »
These are all such valid fears. Coming up with new ideas for posts is hard. It’s the most difficult part of my week. I have to say, I don’t comment on diversity in books, because I am white, though, I am first generation American, grew up in a Caribbean neighborhood, live in a very diverse town now, and have a biracial child. There is always that worry that something written will come across wrong. When we talk, we have facials, gestures, and tone to properly convey what we are saying, and we lose all of that online. I type and… Read more »
I’m glad you can relate 🙂 I haven’t actually run out of ideas yet! I have some left over from last year. But I think that’s because of the #NewBloggers series 😀 it took up a lot of slots! And now I have all of these ideas left 😀 that I still need to write. LOL You’re right about the diversity there. It’s just.. better to stay out of it, if there’s even the smallest chance you might be misunderstood. And even if you do belong in some diverse category, it’s no fun arguing that you are, in fact, ‘part… Read more »
Oh, Evelina…You literally describe each and every feeling and thought in my mind that I don’t have the courage to express. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us.
I’m glad you could relate 🙂 thanks for reading!
This is a great post, I think I have all those fears too! and I had no idea about the amazon/goodreads thing. I would be so sad if that happened to me. Also, I would hate to be judged or hated mostly when I have unpopular opinions, I really never want to make feel anyone like I’m attacking them or something.
Thank you 🙂 yeah, when I heard that happened to some blogger, I was pretty surprised. Isn’t that what we all do, share links? That’s kind of the point.. But still, it doesn’t happen to a lot of people – so hopefully you’re in the clear 🙂
And I agree about the unpopular opinions – I also feel like I’d never want to attack anyone. That’s just not what our blogs are all about!
Some of the fears I can definitely identify with. Part of the reason I got a domain, was because I was worried about being disabled on a free blog site, so I still worry about that. Don’t fear not being like though the book blogging community is a very accepting and loving place.
Agreed, the free blog issue is definitely a thing, but then again, when you go self-hosted, there’s the fear of hosting problems xD
You’re right, our community is about as friendly as it gets, thankfully 🙂
We all definitely have fears. I’m always afraid of ticking someone off because I am just not good at the whole being social thing. I’m a hermit by nature, though social media makes it easier for me to be more outgoing.
I freak out whenever my hosting blips for even a few minutes.
And OI! We’re primarily a straight reviews blog! LOL We make it work! Haha 🙂
You’re alright at the whole social thing 🙂 I don’t think you should worry about it too much. But I guess that intersects with the fear of misspeaking. Communication can be hard!
Totally yes on the hosting though. But I think that is a measured and grounded reaction 😀
And it’s totally awesome that you’re a straight reviews blog and you make it work 😀 although, you have all of these interesting features, like lists of upcoming books etc. I think those are incredibly valuable 🙂
I identify with so many of these! What I worry about the most is saying the wrong thing…or, from a slightly different perspective, not saying enough? There are times (as a white, American, twenty-something young woman who grew up in the middle class, so pretty *not* marginalized) I feel like not joining in a greater conversation, or at least acknowledging it, makes me a bad person? And if I’m reviewing a book with “problematic” content (one of my least favorite words on the internet!) I often pressure myself to acknowledge and discuss it, even if I read it purely for… Read more »
Yep, the wrong thing, me too 🙂 or if they misunderstand me. Or if I use ONE word I shouldn’t have used… Or if they don’t get my sense of humor! (That is quite plausible xD) Agh… Communication can be so tough sometimes 🙂 I agree about the whole problematic thing. Even tougher for me cause I grew up in an all-white country and I just have no idea about SOME of the things! Just because I haven’t lived it. It can be hard to navigate. But yes, agreed, the comments on this post have been amazingly sweet and kind,… Read more »
I’ve had some weird encounters. Once a blogger I liked basically told me I was a mean person because of an offhand phrase in a post where I was referring to OTHER PEOPLE’s opinions and not mine. Apparently I was responsible for people having those opinions because it’s my job to go about changing everyone else’s attitudes? Another time someone accused me (like it was a bad thing?) of being Evangelical Christian. I’m not and I don’t know why the person thought I am or why they thought that was an insult. I blocked them. First and only time. Oh,… Read more »
Wow, that sounds like a tough story. Seriously though, misunderstandings are so easy online! 🙁 when it’s text based, I guess. It’s just sad when that happens. And fighting over opinions or beliefs especially is just… just pointless. I mean, there are so many people with different faiths and opinions, the world wouldn’t function if we were just all the same. OMG, you’re not even of that faith xD that’s… so odd. Why did they… what… and why would that be an insult… 😀 people can be strange! Honestly though, I sometimes I worry about when I make comments when… Read more »
I love your honesty here! In my eyes, you’re one of the more successful book bloggers (I have no idea if my idea of success is accurate or not because I’m a newbie, but you seem to be pretty busy). I wonder if with greater success comes more pressure to keep up? I can totally relate to your fear of being hated and also of misspeaking (they go hand in hand for me). I hate conflict and tend to self-censor myself too much in an effort to avoid it. You would think book blogging would be the most drama-free kind… Read more »
Thank you 🙂 awww, thanks! I feel like I’m not successful at all, I keep thinking of teens go got 800 follows in several months, and here I am, failing to get to 500 in almost two years 😀 pathetic! But thank you 🙂 means a lot that you think of me this way! I think my pressure to keep up just comes with who I am 😀 I’m your typical overachiever. I scored 14 out of 10 (yes, out of TEN xD) in my maths exam in university. I did ALL the extra and extra-extra credit things that were… Read more »
OMG, please don’t worry about the Twitter thing! I barely know how to use it and neglect it terribly. I kept not wanting to tag people and talk to people on there because I didn’t want to bother them with their busy lives, and then I realized that was the whole point of Twitter. I am so clueless. I probably made it sound like I’m sitting over here quietly fuming over every person that hasn’t followed me back or responded to my comments ha ha. I honestly don’t even expect people to be able to respond to every single thing,… Read more »
Twitter is fun! And you should absolutely bother us there because then we feel remembered 🙂 bookish people basically have Twitters IN ORDER to be bothered there xD
But yes, I was pretty disappointed that Twitter somehow doesn’t show some of the notifications. It’s annoying :/ I guess it gets harder once you hit some number of followers? Didn’t happen before I was under 1000 I don’t think.
And I am very happy to “meet” you too 😀
And Paper Fury isn’t just about YA, basically just check out her discussion posts 🙂 they are hilarious 😀
This is a great post. You raise all sorts of interesting and important issues. Much of what you wrote about are issues that I think about. I have had people that I like a lot slowly stop commenting on my blog. Since it was not sudden I assume that it was just the result of waning interest rather then offense. This is sad. I that it is a lot like real life friendships though. Sometimes they just peter out. I delve into controversial issues on my blog and especially on Twitter. I like civil disagreement but I deplore the nasty,… Read more »
Thank you, Brian 🙂 I’m glad you liked the post. I’ve noticed that quite a lot of bloggers could relate to these things… I guess they must be quite universal, after all 🙂 Aw, it’s sad that people stop commenting. Maybe they stop blogging themselves? If I need to catch up with someone, I’ll drop by to their blog to check up on them, but you can’t really do that if they stop blogging altogether. Which would be quite sad! But yes, you’re right, this is a lot like real life relationships. Really, you get disagreement in the comments section?… Read more »
I RELATE SO HARD TO UM…LIKE ALL OF THESE?! MIND READER. I absolutely live in dread of offending and hurting people, and I mean that so deeply. And I’m blocked by an absolute ton of people on twitter because a few years ago people started hate threads on me and I just??? It still makes me really upset because I hate confrontation and I hate misunderstandings and blunders! I also wish the blogosphere was more forgiving?! I saw an author mess up on twitter the other day and she STILL got so many hate threads, even though she apologised! I… Read more »
I guess I grabbed the essence of book blogger fears cause a lot of people have been commenting saying that 😀 hahaha… Yeah, when I wrote that line about trolls trolling some bloggers, I was secretly thinking about you getting all that flak 🙁 totally undeserved. Trolls should just sit in their caves, and that’s that. I hate confrontation too.. Especially when I’m pretty harmless. Unless someone pisses me off. Which is pretty rare in the book blogging community cause there’s nothing to be pissed off about, for me at least xD I get pissed of a lot at appliances… Read more »
Goodness me, I link a lot to Goodreads and Abebooks (of which I am an affiliate) but I pay for my blog, but still it’s a little worrisome. I also have of fear of saying things that others may be offended by or misconstrue, and of being hated and trolled for kicks. In the end, I remind myself that I’m blogging mainly for me, and if people dig what I post then it’s all good. I’m not out there to offend people in anyway cuz’ I consider myself a silly goober who reads what she wants and likes to jabber… Read more »
Yeah, when you’re self-hosted, you can link to whatever you want! I think maybe people are not supposed to be affiliates of anything if they have free blogs. So maybe that’s why. Although Goodreads links are not really affiliate links, so who knows. But you’re definitely in the clear 🙂
I find that a lot of bloggers worry about being misunderstood or offending people though. It’s ridiculous that we must all fear that, precisely because we all feel the same. Ah, society…
But you’re right – we do just blog for ourselves, and that’s how it should be!
For me it’s a fear of giving up or having to close my blog God forbid.
Yeah! That’s a scary one 🙁 I hope you never give up or have to let it go 🙂 and worst case, at least we’re all on social media, right? And you seem to be doing well on Instagram, if I remember it right 🙂 so we wouldn’t lose connection, I hope! But I also hope that we both will STILL be blogging 5 years later and commenting on each other’s posts 🙂 (wouldn’t that be awesome!)
Now that’s something I look forward to. Thank you. ❤
Me too 🙂
This… is some real shit. Thank you for talking about this!
For me, the fear of misspeaking and the fear of losing my blog is the most prominent. Like.. I’ve been blogging for a long time and I have A LOT of posts on this one, and I would honestly cry if I lost it all, because I spent so much time on it all.
It’s good to know I’m not alone in my book blogging fears. 🙂
And thank you for reading 🙂 I’m glad you could relate. I have noticed from the comments that A LOT, and I mean A LOOOOT of bloggers, nearly all of them, are afraid of misspeaking and being misunderstood. It’s very real 🙁 if everyone’s afraid of it, it certainly shouldn’t be so, should it? Society can be weird, huh… It both makes sense and doesn’t.
Definitely not alone 🙂 it seems a lot of bloggers could relate to these!
My fears are as follows:
– Fear of giving up the blog
– Fear of feeling posting is a chore and I’ll stop posting.
Those are really my two fears. 🙂 I kind of got over the second one by telling myself this is something to be enjoyed however it’s easier said than done.
Posting can definitely feel like a chore sometimes! But I always try to think it’s just a passing phase, and it usually passes 🙂 but yes, easier said than done!
“Now, as someone who lives in a post-Soviet, historically all white (and not even English speaking) country, I encounter this problem all the time.” SAME, GIRL. It’s impossible to talk about certain topics when the only opinion you have is formed from consuming media and what others say, not experiencing all that yourself. (Also, just curious, which country are you from? First-time visitor, didn’t see it mentioned on your about page )
Yes!! It IS impossible… And the media can be so misleading. The things I thought about the American society and race BEFORE I joined the book blogging community..? Day and night, literally. Wasn’t aware of half the problems they had. And how are we to know? The media paints it so very differently.
And I am from Lithuania 🙂 nice to meet you, Mai 🙂 I see you are from Latvia! I have been to your country a number of times. I’m so glad to meet a fellow Baltic blogger, SO exciting! OMG I know NOBODY from around here!!!
Wow, hi, neighbor! c: I’ve actually been to Lithuania once, haha. It is kind of weird that there aren’t many book bloggers from the Baltic States, at least I haven’t found a Latvian book blog that’s been active in the last few years…
I actually found a Lithuanian blog (blogging in Lithuanian) once, but it wasn’t very active. I think they are all on Bookstagram 🙂
yep .. I mostly get all thoses fear aswell.. but I didn’t knew about that losing hosting thing, even on free WP !! Damn.. im kinda scared now.. o-o
But my most feared one gotta be running out of ideas… what do you do in that instance ?!
Well, I don’t think you should be! People mostly lose it because they share affiliate links, and I don’t think you do that at all 🙂 so you’re in the clear 🙂
Running out of ideas… Hm, I actually write down everything, even the silliest ideas 😀 I have a long list… And along with the reviews and the ideas… I still haven’t used the ones from last year even xD so just write down every little thing you ever come up with!
Ah great ! nope, dont have any of thoses ..
That’s good to know, and I mean,.. we still have tags … ahaha if anything! I do write mostly all of the ones I think of – or im pretty good to remember. In fact you inspired me one ! heheh my problem is sure I have a few but some of them im just like eeeeehhh… I dont wanna write that xh
I’m glad that I inspired you then 😀
These are all pretty legit fears. I have been blogging for a while now, and I’ve had moments where it seems like a chore instead of fun. However, it’s usually when it come to sitting down and typing up all my posts. I love the reading and sharing my thoughts part. As well as chatting with other bloggers and readers. It just takes FOREVER to write a post. LoL As for angering people or being judged, I think I fly so far under the radar that no one notices me. I just sort of do my own thing and am… Read more »
I think it’s probably true about anything in life, everything can feel like a chore in the wrong mindset 🙂 which is what I’ve been having lately xD For me, the writing itself doesn’t take that long… What takes long is the formatting! Agh xD I have noticed that you’re a little bit of a hermit 😀 I’ve always known your blog, been around it, but I rarely do see you online! Not necessarily a bad thing, if that’s how you prefer to roll 🙂 it’s a good thing you link up on the Sunday post – that’s the best… Read more »
Aawwww come here and let me give you a hug (I’m serious. You want sunshine and beach life? You have my invitation to come and have a vacation in the Philippines). Valid fears my friends. My main fear is losing my blog because of something that Google might not approve of (I use blogspot) and I won’t be able to get back all that I’ve written and worked hard for. It’s the same fear that drives me not to move over to WordPress because I feel I’ll lose all the files etc. Right now I’m still in the verge of… Read more »
Aw, thank you 🙂 that is so sweet!
Yeah, that’s also a valid fear – I guess if you’re self-hosted, you will worry about the host, and if you’re hosted by Blogger or WordPress, you will worry about their judgement. I guess there’s always something to worry about xD
As for the rebranding – I’m glad you finally decided 🙂 it’s always better to rebrand sooner than later – because your blog continues growing, and the later you try to move, the harder it would be 🙂
Bravo for another awesome discussion. I know how hard it must be to air your fears to us. I have many of the same ones. I gave up doing discussion posts because not too many people commented on them. I’m thinking I gave up too soon though, and plan to try again. And I lost my free WordPress because of sharing links. I was allowed to export my data and then went to self hosting so that will never happen again. Your posts are always entertaining and you put a little bit of yourself into all of them. I sure… Read more »
Thank you, Laura 🙂 I actually felt so good after talking about this! You guys are generally a community I trust, so telling you all about my grounded or ungrounded fears has left me feeling lighter and, well, kind of unburdened. I am happy people could relate to the post as well 🙂 Really, not too many people commented? That’s so odd! The discussion posts are what always gets the majority of the comments on my blog. I guess we have different readership 🙂 you do have a lot of giveaways, so I imagine a lot of your readers come… Read more »
First off, I just want to applaud you on having the courage to post this! Since I’m a small blogger as of now I don’t have to deal with the fear of losing love but I definitely have the fear of losing ideas, and even greater, fear of accidentally stealing another bloggers’ ideas! It’s a constant struggle and I try to look for inspiration from everywhere but blogs because of my fierce paranoia. I totally get the fear of running out of time or energy to blog too! I’m in my final year of highschool which is said to be… Read more »
Thank you 🙂 yes, this wasn’t an easy post, but I feel better after sharing all this. Well, you can prevent losing ideas by always writing them down 😀 I have a notebook app on my phone for that xD as for stealing ideas – even if accidentally – I know what you mean! It can happen, and I think it’s unavoidable – there are so many of us, ideas are bound to repeat sooner or later! I don’t think it’s such a bad thing either – just think of it as “your take” and “someone else’s take” on the… Read more »
Thank you for taking the time to write this personal post
I can definitely relate to a lot of them! With so many things currently on my plate I worry a lot about losing the enegery to blog and keep up with everything, because there is so much else that I have to do :/ And I’m always afraid of misspeaking and ending up upsetting other readers.
And thank you for reading 🙂 oh yes, agreed – the energy to blog is one of the most important things. And it seems like a lot of us worry about misspeaking! Well, at least we are not alone 🙂
[…] @ Avalinahs Books shares her book blogging fears, gotta say I share a few of […]
Yeah, the misspeaking thing is definitely something I think about. I got called out on Twitter a long time ago, when I answered and LGBT tweet with ‘love is love’. The person told me that was really condescending, because not everyone was looking for love. Or even sex. And I felt like I had been slapped – really slapped – because I just tried to participate in spreading positivity. And of course, I think that in many European countries, the way race is viewed is very different from how it’s viewed in the US. Which means that our perspective is… Read more »
I think a lot of us think about that! That’s too bad about the tweet – I find that when it comes to controversial topics, sometimes there is NO good thing to say 😀 people can be touchy and interpret any statement of yours as negative. Especially because text carries no emotion. I don’t think there was anything wrong with that tweet of yours. But maybe we just don’t understand 🙂 who knows. We’re not part of their community, maybe it’s something else they’re fighting for too, that we don’t really know cause we don’t spend time thinking about it.… Read more »
My only fear is that I take my online relationships more seriously than others do. Am I a friend or am I a page view and a comment? It’s part insecurity, but it’s also part having been a blogger for the last 7 years and seeing how people choose to exit.
You’re not the only one. I literally pretty much don’t have friends… My friends are my book blogger buddies! I do worry about that sometimes. But in the end, it’s fun. I talk to those people on a daily basis, and not just through comments. Some of them are great friends of mine. I believe you might be a “page view” to some people, can’t be close to everyone – but I’m sure you’re also a friend to a select handful who wouldn’t forget you even if you stopped blogging! That’s something I wonder about too – I’ve only been… Read more »
This is such a powerful and emotional post.. Thank you for sharing your views.. My blog is less than a year old, so I’m still navigating the waters. I’m not thoughtful enough to actually write discussion posts, so most of my blog is made up only of reviews. That definitely makes me feel that no one wants to read my blog at all. I’m also not very good at identifying problematic aspects in a book and my thoughts are mostly based on an emotional reaction, so I’m always scared that I might like a book that many others have a… Read more »
Thank you, Sahitya. And thanks for reading! You should try to write a discussion post about basically anything at all, and not worry too much about the outcomes – that’s how everyone starts off 🙂 it’s actually pretty satisfying after you write the first ones 🙂 But there is nothing wrong with reviews, and in fact, I think reviews SHOULD be about the emotional aspects – because that way you can avoid spoilers. Actually, I also try to base my reviews off emotional aspects 🙂 it’s how I like writing them. You are absolutely entitled to have your opinion and… Read more »
The fear of misspeaking is a huge one for me, so I want to thank you for touching on that <3 I am what most would call "American White" and therefore often find that my thoughts and appreciation of diverse titles have been turned away. But I am also bisexual and have a daughter who is Latinx and have my own history. Don't we all? I never try to compare my own life to another's but I wish it were not so hard to lend my thoughts or voice. I want her to never fear this. The rest of this… Read more »
I feel like a lot of us have this fear, cause bloggers just keep saying this in comments 🙂 Oh, I didn’t know you were bi 🙂 find out something about your friends every day 🙂 yes, well, I can understand about being white… Personally, I think this whole “not diverse enough to have an opinion” thing is just BS, because so what if they’re trying to mute the bigger part of society that has been bigoted in the past – it’s still muting, and muting doesn’t lead to anything good. All it can lead to is the reversal of… Read more »
Exactly! Problems are not solved by creating more problems. And not everything should be taken at face value. My daughter looks whiter than I, and she most certainly is not 😉 For myself, diversity should be all-encompassing and about equality. We cannot have that and preach it if we are still muting and isolating one another <3
Yes, that would be the ideal case 🙂 essentially, that’s what diversity means.. A little bit of everything.
Unfortunately, people tend to forget that Tweets don’t show body language or emotions and waaay to often comments are misunderstood. The reader adds their own emotions, thoughts etc to the text of the Tweet and misunderstands arise. What baffles me is how quickly people turn to hate or rudeness. We have become a very judgy society. Despite declaring we want equal rights for all and everyone is entitled to their opinions, the results are more often my view or the highway. I think we all have these fears but as you mature (or get old as @uck) you begin to… Read more »
Yep, you’re absolutely right. It’s so easy to misunderstand someone when you’re just reading text.
It’s also true that not everyone can be your friend. I’ve always had trouble accepting that though! I can never seem to give up the idea that everyone can just live in a friendly lovely society… lol. Dreams. I am naive!
And thank you! I am glad you enjoyed the post, and could relate. I was happy about the response on this post – it seems a lot of people have some of these fears!
I’ve actually had times where I didn’t want to blog and I also ran out of ideas. I think it’s just a cycle and I usually just unplug for a few days and I usually get my mojo back! 🙂 I also had my blog hacked so I feel your pain. It took a while to fix but it’s fixed now 🙂 I have learned that it’s not the end of the world. I have also learned that blogging does have it’s bad days and good days.. I’ve actually been blogging for over 10 years now, with a few hiatuses… Read more »
You’re right, I’m sure it is a cycle 🙂 as anything else in life! Unplugging sounds nice 🙂 haven’t been able to do that yet xD it’s kind of… an emotional thing, I guess? Like an addiction – to always be present.
You had your blog hacked! OMG… That must’ve been horrible! I’m glad it ended up okay. But yeah, I guess, in the end that does teach you quite a few lessons about blog/life balance, when that happens.
*sneaks in and whispers* i love you and youre truly amazing
Awwwww ;_; THANK YOUUUU!! <3
I am very happy to have you as a friend. And also incredibly proud to have a mermaid-haired person in my friends 😀 (haha!) (no but seriously. I constantly envy the hair, in a good way :D)
oh you should fear nothing dear! You are and will be loved! 🙂
Thank you! Means a lot 🙂
*hugs* You rock btw! We all get worried about this sorta stuff (or, in my case, have an Anxiety flare-up and decide because I don’t have time to reply to direct tweets, I’m a horrible person who doesn’t deserve to call herself a human being… mental health problems are fun!) Firstly: you can only do what you can do. I’m terrible at listening to my own advice on this, but it’s true. I love your blog, but you post far more than I have time to keep up with – so I have to accept that, despite the fact that… Read more »
Aww, thanks 🙂 you rock too! I’m sorry I haven’t written my bit in our post, BTW! I am having another one of those “work-only” moments in my life. Very busy :/ And it’s definitely true that it’s probably not possible to read everything I write for one person 😀 (although some do and I will never stop being surprised at HOW 😀 magic!) But speaking of posts, please read the Marilyn Monroe one! I am sooooo proud of it 😀 either way though, thank you, it means a lot to know that you would love to read everything I… Read more »
Thanks 😉 And no worries, my life is hectic too! I get it.
I will try to get around to ready your Marilyn Monroe thingummy! XD
Cat videos are always solid advice 😉
I think some people honestly think they can catch gay. There are block-lists of LGBTQ+ people so that bigots don’t have to be reminded of our existence, so maybe I’m on one of those somewhere! Either way, it’s their loss. *throws glitter*
I really hope you read the Marilyn Monroe thingie 😀
There. Are. Block. Lists. OMG. You know what? I would say if I were you, I’d be glad to be on one – cause if you’re about to follow some turd and find out they’ve blocked you over something like this? GOOD RIDDANCE. I personally would be glad to know I won’t have to actually interact with someone like that. Saves a lot of nerves in the long run, I suppose. Think of the stuff you’d have to deal with potentially if they actually talked to you about their beliefs? :/
I can relate to many of these. I began blogging in 2006 and have experienced many ups and downs since then. The loss of love . . . I feel that too. I have lost it from some. When I had my daughter, so much changed for me. My priorities changed. My being able to blog regularly changed. I couldn’t keep up like I used, and I wasn’t reading as much. It probably didn’t help that I suffered from Post Partum Depression at that time either. I came to realize that some of the friendships I had built via blogging,… Read more »
2006, wow! You are one seasoned blogger 🙂
I am surprised you managed to blog at all, when you had Mouse (Mouse, right?) 🙂 young mothers are so busy, plus they don’t really get any sleep.. I can perfectly imagine the blog taking a backseat, and that’s the way it should be too.
I’m glad those select few stayed with you. That’s how you find out who are your real friends anyway.
And memes are just fine 🙂
Thank you!
This is an amazing post and I found myself nodding along with it whilst reading. You cover so many things which I have worried about whilst blogging. I’ve relaxed a bit more when it comes to blogging, I’ve had other things to worry about, but I have found that my passion for blogging lessened while I don’t have the time to blog and because of that I have fewer people visiting mine when I am about. It sucks, but I think maybe downtime is what I need and when I feel passionate about something I’ll start right on back up.… Read more »
Thank you! Yes, I agree, downtime can make all the difference. And I guess you can’t be doing everything in life – you always have to choose. Kindness could go a long way in the diversity conversation. Sadly, kindness is not present most of the time in discussions. Perhaps because people are truly pissed off by that point by the ignorance, but it’s still sad, because kindness solves more misunderstandings than shouting and anger. But lately I have definitely been understanding what they mean. I’ve been reading this really famous and popular series, and in three books they have one… Read more »
I’ve learnt to just go with the flow. Leaving book blogging for 2 years I learnt a lot – my blog will just sit there, patiently waiting for my return. It’s been around since 2010 and isn’t likely to be going anywhere, as I’ve always hated WordPress and have always been a blogger worshipper. People will come and go but the best ones stick it out with you. I don’t blog for anyone else, I blog for myself and the only regular posts I have is Many Covers Monday, showcasing the various international covers of popular books. I make sure… Read more »
That is the best way to think about it, blogging for yourself 🙂 I am actually not sure what I blog for – I feel like it’s a mixture of things. Part of it is for myself, of course, partly for the books (cause being international, it’s harder to get them), and then there’s the whole community factor as well.
Aw, thank you 🙂 I am so glad you think my blog is useful! That means EVERYTHING 🙂
Some of these fears make me grateful that I’m not a ‘bigger’ blogger! Sometimes I think I want to be more involved the blogging community, but then I realize I’ve managed to slip past a lot of drama by occupying my own quiet niche. I do also feel that fear of mispeaking, for similar reasons you’ve mentioned – I do live in a multicultural country, but I’m very much a privileged White girl, so while I want to do my part in promoting, for example, promoting diverse reading, I still have some concerns that I might ‘step out of my… Read more »
Heh 🙂 being involved can be fun, but it’s the same as it is with everything – you have to put in to receive. So more involvement calls for more time and effort for sure. But the drama… Thankfully, I manage to avoid most of the drama. It’s mostly just a matter of not following the people who are… MAKING the drama. And mostly just on Twitter 😀
And yep, totally relating on the diversity part. It’s hard to navigate sometimes!
And thanks for reading too 🙂
I relate to your post so much! I fear many of these same things too, especially running out of ideas and running out of energy. I just came through a busy time at work where all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and go to sleep, but I still had to keep up with my blog. It was so draining that I wondered if I could keep it up for much longer and then I started to wonder if I would stop feeling ‘The Love’ if I had to take some time off until I was more rested… Read more »
Thanks, I’m glad you could relate 🙂 talking our fears through helps 😀 yeah, blogging when your real life is way too busy is just downright exhausting.
I loved this post and it feels so real – like I have the same fears too!! Especially the one about misspeaking, it’s one of my biggest fears because I too live in a post-communist country, all white, but just like you I love diversity and I am scared that I will say something wrong or make assumptions about things I don’t really know. You don’t have to worry about losing me, even with my lack of blogging inspiration I still make the time to read my favourite blogs – but that sometimes means commenting on older blog posts like… Read more »
Thank you! Yeah, a lot of us could relate, it seems 🙂 and my situation is the same, regarding the white post-communism xD hey, at least we can understand each other about that. I know what you mean 🙂 I also always enjoy your company, and your blog, even if I can’t visit too much. I love your instagram too 🙂 I’m so thankful that you always catch up on pretty much all my posts! And in turn, I am so sorry I can’t visit all of your posts 🙁 I always feel so bad about that! But I hope… Read more »
You don’t have to worry about that. Sometimes I might write too many posts – with the exception of the last couple of weeks. But I understand! I always try to visit all the posts, but it’s not easy, especially since I like so many blogs! I was thinking a bit about the white post-communism, in a sense it might also be a good thing… I mean we didn’t grow up hating on other people based on their skin tone due to the fact that we only had white people around – does it make sense? And while we might… Read more »
It DOES make sense! However, I think we have a different kind of racism in our communities – one based on ignorance. Thinking other races are “them”, not us. Because they’re far away. Especially the older people do this. My boyfriend is from Britain, after coming back from teaching kids in a camp, he said he can’t believe how racist they are (about Jews or Romanis, for example.. although that’s a whole ‘nother story for Romania, probably!) Now when I book blog, I see it, but I couldn’t before.
Running out of idea and strenght to blog are my worst, if not fears, worries. I experience a lot the latter. Ideas come and go, and if a certain topic has been already written down, well, I can add to point of view with that article. About Twitter, I’ve mixed feelings. I’ve a lot to learn and sure some people teach me a lot, At the same time I always feel anxious to tweet something because I don’t feel like I know enough about a certain topic to say things correctly. But I try. I ask myself if I’m being… Read more »
I can agree so much! Absolutely true about the American filter. Very well said. I was partly trying to say this that we get judged as if we’re Americans online – but it’s not just that, it’s also, like you say, the filter! And you know, I just thought. We get all the downsides of being an American, but no upsides xD we don’t get any print copies or anything :DDDD kind of funny. And yeah, I’d definitely like to hear SO MUCH MORE from the international community. But it’s like despite there being so many of us, we still… Read more »