Book blogging, Discussion

[Discussion] My Fears as a Book Blogger. Do You Have These Too? What Keeps You Up At Night, As A Book Blogger?

This is going to be a quite different, emotional and possibly not very positive post, but I feel like it’s something I want to talk about.Β So this is your chance to back out! Heh. Also, you might be a little surprised that you’re not seeing a #NewBloggers 101 post on a Friday, but I’ve decided there needs to be a little change every now and then. Don’t worry, #NewBloggers will return next week!

Anyway, more about what we’ve got here today… Book blogging is mostly a positive activity, one we enjoy a lot, even if we have to really work for it. But don’t we have our book blogger fears? I wonder if yours are the same as mine? That’s why I’m sharing mine, and if you want to, you can share yours in the comments. They say, it’s better after you talk about it. Right? And we’re all in the same boat.

The Fear Of Losing The Love

This is obviously not going to be the same for everyone, because we’re at different spots as bloggers in each of our journeys. Some of you might be beginner bloggers, so you don’t actuallyΒ ‘quite have’ The Love yet, but you might be gaining it. Some of you are long time bloggers who had The Love, maybe lost it, and then got it back again. I am neither of those – I am in the middle. But that means I’ve already had some love. And I’m afraid to lose it. But what the hell am I even talking about, huh?

Well, basically… You all know that I have a few communities that I built, and while they may be settling down a little, we still know that we all like each other immensely, and those communities are definitely built on positive emotions. In the end, I really, TRULY love hanging out with you. I love cross posting, guest posting, chatting on Twitter. I love it so much when some of you say “this is one of my favorite bloggers” or “I read every post of yours”. I save those screenshots of when you say that – for a sad day (no kidding, I’ve got a folder for that.)

So what I’m afraid is… That you will stop liking me. That my posts will become boring and won’t attract attention (actually, it’s slowly happening because the #NewBloggers is ending and now it will all be slightly different). I imagine scenarios where some of my favorite people won’t feel compelled to read every post of mine. And it’s not in the numbers! It’s about specific people that I know and don’t forget to tag when I’m catching up or doing Follow Fridays or something. It’s inevitable to lose SOME love, but… I feel afraid to lose your friendship. Because it truly means a lot in my life.

The Fear of Running Out of Ideas

I’m sure you can relate. A lot of you have probably had this fear already! And I know you can always post reviews when you’re out of ideas, but that brings me to the above point – you know that not a lot of readers love reading review posts only. And we’re back to losing the love πŸ˜€

The Fear of Running Out of Energy to Blog

…Energy or time. We all know blogging is basically an unpaid job, and although it pays in emotion and books, you’re still never sure if you’ll have the energy and time for it in the long run. What if I start posting once a week and you all forget about me..? What if I don’t have time to blog hop (already happening) and reply comments (already happening!!!) What if you all think that’s cause I don’t love you???

The Fear of Losing my Hosting or the Blog Blinking Out

That’s something I never stop struggling with, especially since it’s recently happened to a close friend of mine, Jackie @ Death by Tsundoku. And it really doesn’t matter which platform, hosting service or setup you’re using – it can happen to everyone. Even free WordPress gets disabled for the stupidest reasons sometimes (I know a blogger who lost her WP blog “because she was posting links to Goodreads and Amazon, and a free blog is not supposed to be commercial”. Which is kind of killing the whole point of book blogging…?) Anyway, not to scare you, but it can happen, and I often worry about it. Do you?

The Fear of Being Hated, Judged or Blocked

I know some bloggers do get harrassed quite a lot. Thankfully, despite being someone who mingles quite a lot, I haven’t had such awful treatment as some people I know – I’ve been lucky. But I have had a few odd run-ins. Someone misreading my words and calling me out for feeling bad about the whole international bloggers thing cause I don’t know what real problems are (without giving away too much cause I don’t want to say who it was). At least they didn’t tag me to shame me, but it’s someone you all talk to and appreciate. Someone who’s never replied my comments or tweets (even before the misreading bit), and I just don’t get how other people think that person is so nice. They’ve never been nice or friendly to me. And I keep wondering, is there a reason I’m labelled as such in their eyes..? What did I do? Or is because of somethingΒ I AM?

Another time was when I was blocked on Twitter. I still don’t get why. It didn’t follow any encounter, it seemsΒ – those who know me should be able to say I’m the last person to start a fight. (Apart from the whole Internationals business and my open letter to NetGalley! But I think we were all angry at NetGalley then, weren’t we? And it’s not like it wasn’t justified. Also, it was public.) So I’ve been torn between “it was probably a misclick” and “they absolutely hate me for some reason I can’t figure out” for over a half a year. Ugh. The nastiest feeling! (Follow up: I asked them why. They said I was rude and insulting commenting on their blog. I am even more baffled. Doesn’t sound like me..? I apologized anyway. The oddest thing ever. Maybe I sleepwalked onto a keyboard or something…)

Has anything like that ever happened to you?

Fear of Misspeaking

Now, as someone who lives in a post-Soviet, historically all white (and not even English speaking) country, I encounter this problem all the time. The #diversity movement, which I love and am on the side of, can be, however, quite tough to manouver. Especially from where I was born and raised. And even more especially so, because if people see you’re white, they immediately assume you’re the same as American white, regardless of your origins and culture and the fact that actually you’re a different kind of minority too.Β For example, where I live, we just.. historically don’t have black people. Or Latino people. Like, at all. Different part of the world! They never came here.Β So it’s very hard to talk about stuff you’ve never seen or encountered. I’m always afraid I will blunder! And blunder is not taken lightly online these days – no matter what your situation. No matter that you’ve grown up in a poorer country than a lot of those minorities in America – everything is thought of only through the prism of the ‘American white’. So a lot of the time I worry about what I should say or shouldn’t say. When at the end of the day, I’m a person who just wants everyone to be equal, loved and understood.

Overall...

I think all of us feel the fear of not being accepted, not being understood. Which is why I’m glad I know I’ve got most of you as friends, some of you – as close friends, even. That some of you will always personally message me and tell me not to be stupid, or that things are okay. And that even if my blog dies (god forbid..) I still am 99% sure you won’t just forget me in a blink, I’ll be able to reach you on social media and maybe start things up again, if I wanted to. Please tell me that’s really the way it is? Because you should know I’ll be there for you!

Have you ever felt these? Or do you have any of your own? Share with me!

I’m Evelina and I try to blog about books that matter, with a bit of fun there too! Disability and equality will be topics you see a lot, but there’s also a lot of scifi, fantasy and… GIFs. I’m also the proud founder of #ARCsAnonymous.

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jen_bookworm
Guest

I have the fear of misspeaking of losing energy and the love. Because I’m always busy although I’ve tried to be active and find a community I never really fit in, my job has long days and I might be offline for a few days. So I guess I already have that fear but I’m used to that as I can be a shy person. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry, problems can be solved and sometimes fears can help you to avoid situations or they can just lie to you when everything is fine. πŸ™‚

Tiffany Chiang
Guest

Such a powerful post!! Don’t worry we won’t forget you <3 You've helped us all so much πŸ™‚ I think you hit the nail on the head with the fears you've discussed. It's so relevant and so true. I'm afraid of not having content, being burnt out, saying the wrong thing, etc. Don't worry though! You're doing such an amazing job <3

Jenn @ Bound to Writing
Guest

Lovely post Evelina! πŸ™‚ There are so many fears that I have as a blogger. But my biggest ones are losing the love and misspeaking. I love talking to all of my blogging friends and when they go away, I feel like I did something wrong. Now, I know that’s not it. As so many of us have busy lives outside of blogging, but the thought of losing that friendship is saddening. And you perfectly covered misspeaking!

Paula Bardell-Hedley
Guest

Well, I for one love your blog, Evelina. I’ve learnt a great deal from reading your posts. Keep up the excellent work!

Utopia State of mind
Guest

Hey I have all of these fears too! (except the hosting thing because that has never crossed my mind before uh-oh). I tweeted a bit about this topic this morning as well. Just know my door is always metaphorically open for us to talk and you’ll always have love from me

Sim @ Flipping Through the Pages
Guest
Lovely and so heart-touching post evelina ❀️ You know that I can’t forget you right? I might be busy these days but trust me your’s and Marie’s blog (from Drizzle and hurricanes) are always in my mind and even if I miss on a few posts of you both, I try to open both blogs later on and read what I missed Yes, you two are like.. amazing people I found in this community and I am glad I did. **pardon me if there are spelling mistakes. I am typing on my phone and typing really fast because it is… Read more Β»
Chloe @ Book Dragons
Guest
I’ll always be about not matter what girl! πŸ™‚ I think I have some fears like not having enough time to blog hop, as I’m pretty bad at that. I’m getting a bit better though. And also not having the energy to write. But I actually have a fear that I’m going to burnout at some point and need to take a long break cause I’m notorious for taking things to the extreme. When I set my mind to something I’ll do it, and also because I have so many ideas and posts to write I can feel overwhelmed at… Read more Β»
Stephanie Jane
Guest
Wow, this is such an emotional post and I am really feeling for you right now. I know I’ve only recently found your blog, but I love visiting here because you write fun and thought provoking posts. I follow by email so I’d still know when to turn out, even if your posts became less frequent. I totally get what you’re saying about the misspeaking too. As a British woman who reads history, I know my country has screwed up or over pretty much every other country in the last 1000 years. And the current Brexit idiocy is bringing out… Read more Β»
KAREN MACE
Guest

Great post and I agree with so much that you say! Always feel like you are walking a tightrope and I never thought it would be like this when I started! It was only meant to be for fun but sometimes that element of it is taken away!

Sheila @ She's Going Book Crazy
Guest
Great post, Evelina! I think my “fear” is the fact that I AM America. It seems that almost everyone has a terrible perspective of Americans, and assume that all Americans have the same mentality instead of actually getting to know someone before spewing accusations at them. It makes me feel like I can’t say ANYTHING for fear of being taken wrong (because it WILL happen.) This is a reason why I don’t share much about my personal life because I don’t want others to take something I love and tear it to shreds. For me, everything you mentioned here is… Read more Β»
Norrie
Guest

aww damn… sorry you feel this way
fear of misspeaking is real… not only on blogs/ online but even face to face. essentially people will hear most things through their own filter and I don’t think we can do much about that
i find online harassment quite despicable. like would they say that to your face? doubt it….

your blog is awesome, i love it and you seem like a really cool, and kind person.

Sophie Eloy
Guest
So first thanks for sharing your fears with us! Fear of losing the blog. It used to panic me in the beginning. I still fear it but I’m trying to think that if it happens I’ll build it anew. Fear of losing the love. Well I used to have it. A lot. But since two weeks I’ve been so exhausted that I took some distance from social media etc and the fear has losened. I just want to enjoy blogging and I won’t probably never have thousands of followers (I am not on WP.com) but if I love what i’m… Read more Β»
Sam@WLABB
Guest
These are all such valid fears. Coming up with new ideas for posts is hard. It’s the most difficult part of my week. I have to say, I don’t comment on diversity in books, because I am white, though, I am first generation American, grew up in a Caribbean neighborhood, live in a very diverse town now, and have a biracial child. There is always that worry that something written will come across wrong. When we talk, we have facials, gestures, and tone to properly convey what we are saying, and we lose all of that online. I type and… Read more Β»
Amalia
Guest

Oh, Evelina…You literally describe each and every feeling and thought in my mind that I don’t have the courage to express. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us.

bookgraphy
Guest

This is a great post, I think I have all those fears too! and I had no idea about the amazon/goodreads thing. I would be so sad if that happened to me. Also, I would hate to be judged or hated mostly when I have unpopular opinions, I really never want to make feel anyone like I’m attacking them or something.

Tori @InToriLex
Guest

Some of the fears I can definitely identify with. Part of the reason I got a domain, was because I was worried about being disabled on a free blog site, so I still worry about that. Don’t fear not being like though the book blogging community is a very accepting and loving place.

Lilyn George
Guest

We all definitely have fears. I’m always afraid of ticking someone off because I am just not good at the whole being social thing. I’m a hermit by nature, though social media makes it easier for me to be more outgoing.

I freak out whenever my hosting blips for even a few minutes.

And OI! We’re primarily a straight reviews blog! LOL We make it work! Haha πŸ™‚

JJ @ This Dark Material
Guest
I identify with so many of these! What I worry about the most is saying the wrong thing…or, from a slightly different perspective, not saying enough? There are times (as a white, American, twenty-something young woman who grew up in the middle class, so pretty *not* marginalized) I feel like not joining in a greater conversation, or at least acknowledging it, makes me a bad person? And if I’m reviewing a book with “problematic” content (one of my least favorite words on the internet!) I often pressure myself to acknowledge and discuss it, even if I read it purely for… Read more Β»
Krysta @ Pages Unbound
Guest
I’ve had some weird encounters. Once a blogger I liked basically told me I was a mean person because of an offhand phrase in a post where I was referring to OTHER PEOPLE’s opinions and not mine. Apparently I was responsible for people having those opinions because it’s my job to go about changing everyone else’s attitudes? Another time someone accused me (like it was a bad thing?) of being Evangelical Christian. I’m not and I don’t know why the person thought I am or why they thought that was an insult. I blocked them. First and only time. Oh,… Read more Β»
Cahleen Hudson
Guest
I love your honesty here! In my eyes, you’re one of the more successful book bloggers (I have no idea if my idea of success is accurate or not because I’m a newbie, but you seem to be pretty busy). I wonder if with greater success comes more pressure to keep up? I can totally relate to your fear of being hated and also of misspeaking (they go hand in hand for me). I hate conflict and tend to self-censor myself too much in an effort to avoid it. You would think book blogging would be the most drama-free kind… Read more Β»
Brian Joseph
Guest
This is a great post. You raise all sorts of interesting and important issues. Much of what you wrote about are issues that I think about. I have had people that I like a lot slowly stop commenting on my blog. Since it was not sudden I assume that it was just the result of waning interest rather then offense. This is sad. I that it is a lot like real life friendships though. Sometimes they just peter out. I delve into controversial issues on my blog and especially on Twitter. I like civil disagreement but I deplore the nasty,… Read more Β»
Cait @ Paper Fury
Guest
I RELATE SO HARD TO UM…LIKE ALL OF THESE?! MIND READER. I absolutely live in dread of offending and hurting people, and I mean that so deeply. And I’m blocked by an absolute ton of people on twitter because a few years ago people started hate threads on me and I just??? It still makes me really upset because I hate confrontation and I hate misunderstandings and blunders! I also wish the blogosphere was more forgiving?! I saw an author mess up on twitter the other day and she STILL got so many hate threads, even though she apologised! I… Read more Β»
Miggs
Guest
Goodness me, I link a lot to Goodreads and Abebooks (of which I am an affiliate) but I pay for my blog, but still it’s a little worrisome. I also have of fear of saying things that others may be offended by or misconstrue, and of being hated and trolled for kicks. In the end, I remind myself that I’m blogging mainly for me, and if people dig what I post then it’s all good. I’m not out there to offend people in anyway cuz’ I consider myself a silly goober who reads what she wants and likes to jabber… Read more Β»
suckerforcoffe
Guest

For me it’s a fear of giving up or having to close my blog God forbid.

Dalindcy @ Books&Rants
Guest

This… is some real shit. Thank you for talking about this!

For me, the fear of misspeaking and the fear of losing my blog is the most prominent. Like.. I’ve been blogging for a long time and I have A LOT of posts on this one, and I would honestly cry if I lost it all, because I spent so much time on it all.

It’s good to know I’m not alone in my book blogging fears. πŸ™‚

Karoline
Guest

My fears are as follows:

– Fear of giving up the blog
– Fear of feeling posting is a chore and I’ll stop posting.

Those are really my two fears. πŸ™‚ I kind of got over the second one by telling myself this is something to be enjoyed however it’s easier said than done.

Mai
Guest

“Now, as someone who lives in a post-Soviet, historically all white (and not even English speaking) country, I encounter this problem all the time.” SAME, GIRL. It’s impossible to talk about certain topics when the only opinion you have is formed from consuming media and what others say, not experiencing all that yourself. (Also, just curious, which country are you from? First-time visitor, didn’t see it mentioned on your about page )

Kristina
Guest

yep .. I mostly get all thoses fear aswell.. but I didn’t knew about that losing hosting thing, even on free WP !! Damn.. im kinda scared now.. o-o

But my most feared one gotta be running out of ideas… what do you do in that instance ?!

Kristin (Book Sniffers Anonymous)
Guest
These are all pretty legit fears. I have been blogging for a while now, and I’ve had moments where it seems like a chore instead of fun. However, it’s usually when it come to sitting down and typing up all my posts. I love the reading and sharing my thoughts part. As well as chatting with other bloggers and readers. It just takes FOREVER to write a post. LoL As for angering people or being judged, I think I fly so far under the radar that no one notices me. I just sort of do my own thing and am… Read more Β»
Myrth
Guest
Aawwww come here and let me give you a hug (I’m serious. You want sunshine and beach life? You have my invitation to come and have a vacation in the Philippines). Valid fears my friends. My main fear is losing my blog because of something that Google might not approve of (I use blogspot) and I won’t be able to get back all that I’ve written and worked hard for. It’s the same fear that drives me not to move over to WordPress because I feel I’ll lose all the files etc. Right now I’m still in the verge of… Read more Β»
Laura Thomas
Guest
Bravo for another awesome discussion. I know how hard it must be to air your fears to us. I have many of the same ones. I gave up doing discussion posts because not too many people commented on them. I’m thinking I gave up too soon though, and plan to try again. And I lost my free WordPress because of sharing links. I was allowed to export my data and then went to self hosting so that will never happen again. Your posts are always entertaining and you put a little bit of yourself into all of them. I sure… Read more Β»
Charvi
Guest
First off, I just want to applaud you on having the courage to post this! Since I’m a small blogger as of now I don’t have to deal with the fear of losing love but I definitely have the fear of losing ideas, and even greater, fear of accidentally stealing another bloggers’ ideas! It’s a constant struggle and I try to look for inspiration from everywhere but blogs because of my fierce paranoia. I totally get the fear of running out of time or energy to blog too! I’m in my final year of highschool which is said to be… Read more Β»
Caro @ bookcheshirecat
Guest

Thank you for taking the time to write this personal post
I can definitely relate to a lot of them! With so many things currently on my plate I worry a lot about losing the enegery to blog and keep up with everything, because there is so much else that I have to do :/ And I’m always afraid of misspeaking and ending up upsetting other readers.

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[…] @ Avalinahs Books shares her book blogging fears, gotta say I share a few of […]

Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews
Guest
Yeah, the misspeaking thing is definitely something I think about. I got called out on Twitter a long time ago, when I answered and LGBT tweet with ‘love is love’. The person told me that was really condescending, because not everyone was looking for love. Or even sex. And I felt like I had been slapped – really slapped – because I just tried to participate in spreading positivity. And of course, I think that in many European countries, the way race is viewed is very different from how it’s viewed in the US. Which means that our perspective is… Read more Β»
Jennifer | Book Den
Guest

My only fear is that I take my online relationships more seriously than others do. Am I a friend or am I a page view and a comment? It’s part insecurity, but it’s also part having been a blogger for the last 7 years and seeing how people choose to exit.

Sahi K
Guest
This is such a powerful and emotional post.. Thank you for sharing your views.. My blog is less than a year old, so I’m still navigating the waters. I’m not thoughtful enough to actually write discussion posts, so most of my blog is made up only of reviews. That definitely makes me feel that no one wants to read my blog at all. I’m also not very good at identifying problematic aspects in a book and my thoughts are mostly based on an emotional reaction, so I’m always scared that I might like a book that many others have a… Read more Β»
Danielle
Guest
The fear of misspeaking is a huge one for me, so I want to thank you for touching on that <3 I am what most would call "American White" and therefore often find that my thoughts and appreciation of diverse titles have been turned away. But I am also bisexual and have a daughter who is Latinx and have my own history. Don't we all? I never try to compare my own life to another's but I wish it were not so hard to lend my thoughts or voice. I want her to never fear this. The rest of this… Read more Β»
Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer
Guest
Unfortunately, people tend to forget that Tweets don’t show body language or emotions and waaay to often comments are misunderstood. The reader adds their own emotions, thoughts etc to the text of the Tweet and misunderstands arise. What baffles me is how quickly people turn to hate or rudeness. We have become a very judgy society. Despite declaring we want equal rights for all and everyone is entitled to their opinions, the results are more often my view or the highway. I think we all have these fears but as you mature (or get old as @uck) you begin to… Read more Β»
Zeee @ I Heart Romance & YA
Guest
I’ve actually had times where I didn’t want to blog and I also ran out of ideas. I think it’s just a cycle and I usually just unplug for a few days and I usually get my mojo back! πŸ™‚ I also had my blog hacked so I feel your pain. It took a while to fix but it’s fixed now πŸ™‚ I have learned that it’s not the end of the world. I have also learned that blogging does have it’s bad days and good days.. I’ve actually been blogging for over 10 years now, with a few hiatuses… Read more Β»
lauren
Guest

*sneaks in and whispers* i love you and youre truly amazing

Daniela Ark
Guest

oh you should fear nothing dear! You are and will be loved! πŸ™‚

Cee @ Dora Reads
Guest
*hugs* You rock btw! We all get worried about this sorta stuff (or, in my case, have an Anxiety flare-up and decide because I don’t have time to reply to direct tweets, I’m a horrible person who doesn’t deserve to call herself a human being… mental health problems are fun!) Firstly: you can only do what you can do. I’m terrible at listening to my own advice on this, but it’s true. I love your blog, but you post far more than I have time to keep up with – so I have to accept that, despite the fact that… Read more Β»
Literary Feline
Guest
I can relate to many of these. I began blogging in 2006 and have experienced many ups and downs since then. The loss of love . . . I feel that too. I have lost it from some. When I had my daughter, so much changed for me. My priorities changed. My being able to blog regularly changed. I couldn’t keep up like I used, and I wasn’t reading as much. It probably didn’t help that I suffered from Post Partum Depression at that time either. I came to realize that some of the friendships I had built via blogging,… Read more Β»
Becky @ A Fool's Ingenuity
Guest
This is an amazing post and I found myself nodding along with it whilst reading. You cover so many things which I have worried about whilst blogging. I’ve relaxed a bit more when it comes to blogging, I’ve had other things to worry about, but I have found that my passion for blogging lessened while I don’t have the time to blog and because of that I have fewer people visiting mine when I am about. It sucks, but I think maybe downtime is what I need and when I feel passionate about something I’ll start right on back up.… Read more Β»
Vee @ Under The Mountain
Guest
Vee @ Under The Mountain
I’ve learnt to just go with the flow. Leaving book blogging for 2 years I learnt a lot – my blog will just sit there, patiently waiting for my return. It’s been around since 2010 and isn’t likely to be going anywhere, as I’ve always hated WordPress and have always been a blogger worshipper. People will come and go but the best ones stick it out with you. I don’t blog for anyone else, I blog for myself and the only regular posts I have is Many Covers Monday, showcasing the various international covers of popular books. I make sure… Read more Β»
Jenna @ Falling Letters
Guest
Some of these fears make me grateful that I’m not a β€˜bigger’ blogger! Sometimes I think I want to be more involved the blogging community, but then I realize I’ve managed to slip past a lot of drama by occupying my own quiet niche. I do also feel that fear of mispeaking, for similar reasons you’ve mentioned – I do live in a multicultural country, but I’m very much a privileged White girl, so while I want to do my part in promoting, for example, promoting diverse reading, I still have some concerns that I might β€˜step out of my… Read more Β»
Suzanne @ The Bookish Libra
Guest
I relate to your post so much! I fear many of these same things too, especially running out of ideas and running out of energy. I just came through a busy time at work where all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and go to sleep, but I still had to keep up with my blog. It was so draining that I wondered if I could keep it up for much longer and then I started to wonder if I would stop feeling ‘The Love’ if I had to take some time off until I was more rested… Read more Β»
Andreea
Guest
I loved this post and it feels so real – like I have the same fears too!! Especially the one about misspeaking, it’s one of my biggest fears because I too live in a post-communist country, all white, but just like you I love diversity and I am scared that I will say something wrong or make assumptions about things I don’t really know. You don’t have to worry about losing me, even with my lack of blogging inspiration I still make the time to read my favourite blogs – but that sometimes means commenting on older blog posts like… Read more Β»
Camilla @Reader in the Attic
Guest
Running out of idea and strenght to blog are my worst, if not fears, worries. I experience a lot the latter. Ideas come and go, and if a certain topic has been already written down, well, I can add to point of view with that article. About Twitter, I’ve mixed feelings. I’ve a lot to learn and sure some people teach me a lot, At the same time I always feel anxious to tweet something because I don’t feel like I know enough about a certain topic to say things correctly. But I try. I ask myself if I’m being… Read more Β»